About the past, the future and dictators.

And all the wars of today. I remember when Baghdad was one of my dream destination. Somehow I had forgotten that on my journey to adulthood surfing the Internets and eating news for breakfast.

I remember when one of my friends got killed in Zimbabwe. Well, he should have known better and gone to do his internship somewhere else. Being white does not always come with privilege (or not everywhere let’s say).

It’s okay though. Life goes on and what you can do is remembering friends and work at a better tomorrow. For my childhood’s dream destinations can still become my children’s dream destination.

With a little help, a little hope and a little less dictators.

He walks and sits on blood. With style I assume, as leaders of the world still bows in front of him.


About art, a boy of three, and love hate for technologies – Friday comes about time

I am not sure if you had already realized: I love love art. Or beautiful things, let’s say. Some things I consider art are probably not unanimous among artsy people.

I love drawing, painting, trying new ways, taking pictures, filming stuff, making whatever, having flashes in my head when I take a shower for a new project. These days I am very much into drawing. I use paper and just started the iPad too… it’s just complicated because the screen is broken into pieces.
But hey, we do with what we’ve got.

Maryse Conde, a beautiful author, if you ask me. I mean, physically. I've read about almost nothing of what she's written. But I'll change that.

I have a bit of an obsession with black people and artists, as you may see for the past… two posts. I wonder if I am having a going back to the roots phase or a little travel fatigue.
I have visited many a flat and many a kindergarten. I need to find a home for my family and myself quickly. Hotels and service apartments are awesome and convenient, but they’re no home.

Or I am getting older and I want to settle down.

Kindergartens. Oh my gosh I swear… I SWEAR A LOT actually.
Every time I see one more kiga situated in a horrible office tower, with a special view on the smokers outside, and a lot of space…for little mice. At a wonderful fucking expensive price. Sometimes I shiver during the visit. Okay I have been spoiled with the company kiga we had back in Germany. Not every childcare can afford 220 square meters of land. Especially not in Singap. Yes, I get it. But no I won’t put Babylove in a crazy place where crazy people look at him and tell me that he’ll have to “blend in quickly”.
Not all is dark and awful though, I have found THE pearl. A little house on a little hill with nice fairy carers. Same price. Just a bit away. So be it. It’ll be a nice bicycle tour every morning and evening when we’ll start going there.

In the meantime, Babylove’s scotched to the tablet. Or stuck in the pool. With work getting intenser, my skills as a mother worsen. And I used to look in awe at all those poor kids here, addicted to technologies.
I don’t own a smartphone myself, I’ve always felt very free. And horrified by how quick and well are screens to creep into our lives. Odd from a girl who loves to try everything technological? (Well, I’ve never pretended not to be contradictory.)
However, I reluctantly realize that I am being grateful to the little broken screen and Charlie Brown on YouTube for every half hour I can get to focus on my job.

Job that I really start to find fun.

Friday comes about time.

Isn't it a beautiful once in a decade Friday? Gives me peps for the weekend

Lazy Sunday, b**ch time and psycho-punk-art

Today Love took Babylove on a walk to give me some time to study for my exams. A long father-son bonding walk on the beach. They got sunburn – of course… I wasn’t there running after them with my two-liter sunscreen bottle – and ice cream.

I studied… the lines of my palms and the music on my iPod.

Then I motivated myself to do something constructive related to Psychology. I did that:

I am trying myself at Black Punk art.

It is related to Psycho because Freud and psychoanalysis movements think pathos and normality in the continuity of one another. And all of it conflicts and twists in our souls. I tend to think that our souls lie in our stomach, but I did not have enough space on my paper so I just drew a twisted brain. Not supposed to be auto-biographic. Anyway I am not a black man. Yes, even if you can’t see it, this guy is Black – I feel a lot like an AfroPunk these days. Maybe because I don’t meet too many Blacks in Singapore.

Then I went to the beach and almost fainted in seeing Babylove’s sunburn. He’s blond. Odd? Maybe. I get sunburns too sometimes though. I blame it all on my mother (she has very large shoulders, but hey, is that not how mothers are built?).


Manage the superficial. (The essential has to come along anyway anytime. Maybe.)

Each and every day at least one idea for a post crosses my mind. Each and every day something happens that makes me smile or think. But I’m tired and lazy.

Isn't it a beautiful once in a decade Friday? Gives me peps for the weekend

On Sunday, one the hottest days since we are here, Love Babylove and I took our hats, sunglasses, flip-flops and sweat our way to the Bird-Park. I have some pictures. Or I had – Babylove lost my SD card. Or I let him loose it. I feel a bit sad. A million pictures, three years. And SD cards are expensive in Singapore. Have to wait my return to Europe.

On Monday we went to Little India for dinner. Walking the long and moist corridors of the MRT was… well, you can imagine (and I don’t know what I want to say, truly). But then, passed the construction area, an exotic place in an exotic place. Odd and spicy and noisy, but in a different way. In an Indian way I assume. There is a new Museum of India opening soon. Maybe I’ll have a look. Or maybe I’ll just eat a cheese prata in the little restaurant just in front and think about having a look later.

On Tuesday I ran for the first time more than 15 minutes outside. You know what? Because I was so proud and happy, I even started to map the route afterwards to create a nice looking picture below.

It would have been here. Imagine a nice looking picture of a map nearby Dhoby Ghaut, China Town, and everything in between with a red line representing the way I ran.

But in the process I realized that I still had laundry waiting to be folded. It’s all the fault of the little green light on the machine.

On Wednesday some friends visited us from the Philippines. They were late. I was annoyed. Babylove was tired and excited, screaming around with his little quirky voice. I thought about putting him back to my womb, to enjoy the silence and the alone-ness. Instead I used my meanest stare on Love and he took over.

On Thursday (yesterday) BL and I went to the Gardens by the Bay. Magical. Expensive. Except the area for the kids. I even regretted having bought some tickets for the covered garden because outside is already beautiful (but HOT) and the kids’ space is free access – with water games and such. I followed Babylove in. Then other parents followed, once ensured that I would not get any fine for it.
At night we went to Newton Hawker Center. I love Singapore, its food, its open food courts… everything related to food in Singapore in fact.

Today we’re leaving to Malaysia for the weekend. I will meet some business partners and I thought: “We should combine with a long weekend!”

It sounds like holidays, doesn’t it? Well, yes, no, maybe. This week I visited 21 flats and six kindergartens. Babylove is still with me, while I’m already working my ass off (during his nap and night). And studying. Not to worry, I have everything under control. More or less. I at least managed two important things today before leaving:

  • to post this
  • and to watch the last episode of the season of The Blacklist


#15 “Keep it simple” or Mondays make me think. And enjoy being myself and not complicated people.

Yes, keep it simple. The best way to go through life.

Yesterday Love and I skyped with a friend. He complained that we had not done it before. Love and I looked at one another.

I said: “Well, we’ve been busy, sorry. If you want to call us, call us. Why do you make your life so complicated?”
Then he answered: “Jess, your vision of life is always so simple and easy. But people ain’t like you. You’ve been busy, so when you are available, you call. I just thought you guys had forgotten me already with your new life…”
So I answered: “Life is simple. Not always easy, but if it’s complicated, it’s because you want it this way. If you call, I’m happy. If I am too busy to pick up the phone, I don’t pick up the phone. If I forget to call you back now, I’ll call you back later. If I can pick up the phone, we speak. Otherwise, you wait for my call and you don’t complain about how long I did not call you please.”
Love said: “That’s it. I don’t always agree with her, she’s a sociopath and she does not care about people’s emotions too much, but she’s right sometimes with her simple vision of life.”
I said: “I am not a sociopath.”

Aki and Love said: “Yes you are.”

I thought: “Assholes.”


Life’s too busy and crazy and uncontrollable for me to wait that fate or people do what I want. So I just control what I can influence.

Really. I wish you a happy and successful start in the week.

Ich Liebster dich auch, danke.

Some days you wake up and you think you’re high. Everything is easy, everybody smiles at you, the street lights are green, it smells laundry in the subway (it did smell laundry in the subway by the way. The lady next to me had her freshly washed clothes with her, and as it happened, she just went everywhere I went. No I did not stalk her, I did things too… after a wasted half hour and the name of her softening product.) Also, the sun shines and butterflies follow you.

Today was such a day, darling. I got legalized (I am allowed to earn money in my new country), Babylove was as easy as it gets (of course you have highs and lows but the lows were not too deep nor too long). I have a new card for my phone and it was no hassle to get it. I got a free box of sushi because I am nice.

That’s a funny story actually. Love loves sushi and always goes to the same place to buy some. Today I passed in front but had no intent to stop (Love is on a business trip to Thailand and I was in a hurry) but the lady asked me why she had not met him these past days. I answered and smiled, and she offered me a box of sushi. Just like that. Cool.

Then my real estate agent told me that he had a short list for me in the exact areas where I want my flat to be.

And now I discovered that my blog has been nominated for the Liebster award by Irene. Cool, girl, ich Liebster dich auch.


The questions to answer

1. Blogging or writing?
Hm, that’s a tough one already.
Well, I never thought I’d be blogging before I started this blog… No, that’s not true: I thought of it many times and then I was too lazy. But blogging is fun. I like fun things. I like blogging.
Yet I always toyed with the idea of writing a BOOK. Being an Author.
Later maybe.
So for now it’s blogging.

2. Writing or typing?
Neither. If I could plug something from my brain to the Internets or my notebooks, I’d do it. I am still looking for a kind smart engineer able to solve that. I don’t even want to speak, I want to just think stuff. Or no, the cable would suck the mere thoughts I have before they are formed. I am entirely sure that this is the time when what my mind creates best. Like, you know, now we avoid processed food because it’s too not what is the best. Raw stuff is. Jess’s raw thoughts are probably clearer than the processed result. Which is better than what I write or say. Maybe.
But if you REALLY want me to choose, I would say tryting. Depends on what I wear, the dimension of my bag, if the Internets are available.

3. What is your best blogging or writing tip you want to share?
Me? I have none. I just started and I just write stuff that happens to me. Because my blog is my public diary.

4. Looking good or feeling good?
My blog or me?
I like good-looking things, so I try to make my blog look good too. True I could do better if I invested a bit, like money-wise. Meeh.
I believe that if you feel good you look good.
I feel good.
And I look good for those who matter, so the rest…

5. What does a healthy lifestyle mean to you?
Familying. Loving. Close friending. Good fooding. Enough leisure timing. Sporting. Learning.

6. What is your ultimate guilty pleasure?
Series binge-watching.

7. How do you incorporate play in your life?
I play all the time. My grand-mother used to say that life is like LEGO. You build and you grow and you make it colorful please.

8. When was the last time you had to laugh so hard you’d cried and why was that?
I think I was watching a movie a month ago. Don’t remember which one though. Also, I am very good public for non reality stuff.

9. What is the happiest place in the world, according to you?

10. How would you describe your (future/pretended) parenting style?

11. What do you think is the most important lesson we need to instill on boys?
Dunno. Mine has been the teacher so far. He taught me responsibility the hard way. Still learning.

Tag your it!

1. My precious little thoughts
2. DanBlogs994
3. MrsMommyJohnson
4. Lhuwenkai
5. JhaneelLockhart

I have stumbled upon those people and their blogs, and it made me either think or laugh.

 – Now is the time for me to ask you, nominees, questions… –

But I’m lazy. And it’s 10 PM here. So I’ve asked the Internets. But they did not return me inspiring matter. So I asked the Internets about the rules of this award. To back up my laziness, and also because I have to go back to study my lesson on cognitive psychology. And one set of rules did not mention questions. I decided to follow them. But feel free to answer Irene’s questions, they were fun and tough. Fough.

The rules

If you’re up for this tag award, please add a link to this post in yours. Answer my questions, nominate 11 bloggers with less than 200 followers and think up 11 questions for them.

(Okay I do not even have 11 bloggers. Hahaha!)

Lazily yours,

Nothing’s wrong with me. I shall hold on my Employment Pass and my sneakers.

I woke up this morning with thunders and lightnings. I am not talking about my mood, though I could have felt like it as I had only five hours of sleep. No, literally, there was a storm and the sky was electrical.

Then I opened my laptop and my inbox – and oh! great news: an email forwarded by my future boss. From MOM. Isn’t this name awesome? Well it actually means Ministry Of Manpower. Anyway, MOM confirmed my Employment Pass.

I am not a tourist anymore in Singapore!

Something’s wrong with me. I am actually looking forward to work 60 hours a week. Well maybe not that much, I like to sleep and eat and play with my kid and go to the zoo and… and blog.
I am going to bargain in my contract to be able to wear sneakers. Or flip-flops, it’s so damn hot and humid here. Bad habits kept since my time at adidas.