This morning I watched on TV the place I’ve been talking about for the past decade. Okay, two years. Still. It’s the place I wanted to spend my 30th birthday – I spent it in Guadeloupe which was wonderful but “aux antipodes” as we French say. Figuratively and almost literally. Lapland and its aurora borealis.
First I opened my eyes at 6.32 AM. I know because my watch is always tucked right under my pillow. If I wake up in the night, I know when. And how long I still have to sleep. I have an internal clock, I have no use of alarm and such. Only in case of stressful days will I set an alarm. To be very sure.
There was not much time left to sleep when I awoke. Ten minutes later my jogging partner called me. Yes please come pick me up with your car. Hm no I won’t need a shower now, the dirt on my skin might preserve the warmth in my body. (If I could I would run with my duvet. But obviously I can’t. People would wonder. And my duvet could get dirty – we run in the forest after all.) Okay okay, ten minutes downstairs.
He came. We drove. We ran. I saw two little deer. The sun was bright and almost warm through the leaves. I almost could not feel anymore the soreness in my arms (because of throwing Babylove in the air yesterday. Now he thinks he has super powers: he can command me to make him fly. Almost better as flying by yourself. No need to put in the effort). We stretched. Then while he was taking a shower, I watched TV.
My friend has a TV. I don’t. I’d lie if I gave an opinion on TV – I do not want one for myself because I can simply watch everything I want on the Internets. I like it though, having just to stretch the arms to watch anything you did not choose. It’s fascinating.
Do you know arte.tv? It’s the channel every French and German person holds dear and in high value, but nobody really watches. Too profound. However, the TV was turned on arte.tv. What surprised me coming from my friend – not so much the profound kind, but hey, do we ever know people?
And there it was: Lapland. I do not really fancy the English word, I prefer Laponie. Because it sounds the way I see it. Wide and wild and white and bright. The documentary showed this woman who was “alone but never lonely on her little piece of Earth” and I thought: “If I could zoom through space in the speed of light, I would certainly like to go there right now”. Though not in Winter with minus one billion degrees and four minutes of daylight.
The lady shook off the snow from her heavy boots and blew on her fingers. I wonder why she did not wear bloody gloves and if she was not afraid of frostbites but then, she probably knew better. Everything around her was white and blue until the time-lapse thing made it in four seconds white and dark. And in the sky, to keep her company, the northern lights.
Truth be told there’s not so much to describe in terms of landscape. Snow everywhere, some pine trees here and there, and in the middle of the white land, not far from the ocean, a wooden house with some yellow orange light. But the smile on the lady’s face while answering the reporter made me feel how certain she was of her choices and of her fullness. She did not – she does not need much. She knows. She has the northern lights. And Father Christmas, but nobody really knows.
That’s the place I try to go once or twice a day – certainty and peace of mind. But not too long and not too much, for my grand-mother taught me to be satisfied with enough. Or maybe do I fear happiness? As Japanese people are reputed to do.
And Lapland too, of course. Once or twice a year for two years I discuss that with Love. He hates the cold.
I should just book a flight, what do you think? He would probably hate me. But then, maybe more than the cold? And the cold would become bearable, and he would even enjoy it, and realize that I am the best person on the planet? Or at least in Lapland – which won’t be too hard with a population of only less than 200,000 souls.
Hm… to meditate.